Despite our best attempts to keep them under control, our agile zombie teams have been able to stagger (there is no sprinting despite what you may have heard) onward while doggedly avoiding producing even the scantest shred of documentation. All attempts to manage the hoards who are devouring product backlog flesh have failed. Initially we purchased several weapons such as the Rally meat grinder and the VersionOne chopper. These enriched the weapon manufacturers, but the problem remained and agile sausage is still something you do not want to see how it gets made. Some poor management souls who had cast their lots with the weapons manufacturers are seeking shelter in zero accountability bunkers hoping to ride things out. Noone is sure how the disease began, the most repeated story is things started with some well intentioned team lead who avoided his document innoculation and quickly spread the infection to others in the team. The short term high the teammates experienced soon turned to a insatiable craving for uninterrupted coding. Normal body functions (like planning and knowledge retention) went dormant then ceased to matter in the single mindedness of constant backlog hunger.
All hope now rest on contacting a hero who may have the key to our salvation. A legendary figure known only as the Project Manager. This hero is said to hold the power to eliminate battalions of agile zombies using a weapon of incredible power and accuracy, the "Plan".
So if you are out there PM, and somehow this message makes it to you, save us! The zombies are everywhere!
